" Pass The Cake Please"

This is for all my girls out there that are, as we say, "drop dead
gorgeous, but hiding it under a layer (or layers) of unabashed flesh."

I am a woman who knows, as I do not consider myself one of the

aforementioned women. I am a redhead, and not of the less fortunate
looking, I am on the "upper end of the food chain" when it comes to

redheads. (Sorry to my red headed sisters, we all know what I'm talking

about.) It's the price we pay for having locks that stand out in a crowd. As

all redheads know, we are always referred to as "the redhead," and for

that alone, never able to go undetected.

My point is this.... How many of you are sitting and reading this, with the

face of an angel, but the ass of a small, pull out couch? Get over yourself.

I can say that, as I am a former fatty! At some point, beautiful in your eyes

or not, we are all different sizes, and yes, ... beautiful. Some are more

beautiful than others, you know who you are. So, I say to you, "Stop hiding

your frickin' God given beauty, and right to own what you have been lucky

enough to get, ... don't squander your beauty!"

Recently, I attended a bridal shower. (The bride-to-be knows who she
is, you were beautiful!) As I listened to this group, ... young, old, skinny,

and hefty, there was common theme. All talk of fat, ... how to loose it,

hide it, cut it off, squeeze it into different sizes, and camouflage it. By the

way, you can't camouflage it. This was the conversation, while I was choking

down a huge piece of 5 layer, dark chocolate cake, (my cheat day bitches).

It occurred to me, how many words we use on flesh, flab, and fat. I'm as

guilty as the next "fat ass." Think about it, ... all female gatherings we attend,

whether it be lunches, dinners, showers, etc., ... what do we talk about? In

between bashing men, and the "whore" at the table next to us, getting all the

looks from said men, ... it's fat! If we talked less, and moved our fat American

asses more, ... guess what? That's right, we would soon see the demise of the

female social structure die out! I'm just saying, "Do something about it!"

There will always be chocolate cake, cookies, buffets, moms force-feeding us,

(Food is love to my mother.), cocktails, chips, that new taco at Taco Bell, with

the nacho shell.... What will it take for us to decide, "Yes, today is the day,

and nothing, and no one is going to stop me."? There is a moment in every

former fatty's life, when for the first time in, you can't remember how long,

you can see your clavicles. Mine was in the shower. I felt them one morning,

4 months into my yearlong transformation. Getting a glimpse of yourself, and

not believing that you are the creature in front of you, ... is right up there as

one of the "freeze-dry moments" in life. You know, when you wish you could

freeze-dry that scene, and pull it out later for reference. All of the crap that we

shove into our bodies, will always be there. Remember that, the next time you

want to forfeit the feeling of self-accomplishment, and investment in yourself. 

Remember, clavicles feel better than cake!

To the royal bridesmaids, "You inspire me, and delight me!" This story is for all

of you, but most of all, for the "beautiful blonde." I can't wait to see you rule

the world! To my "Peek," (the most beautiful one of all)!